Learning Life
by Mackenzie Kelley
Summary: Aslan visits Serdif in a dream. Was it just a dream, or is everything really about to change as he says. Will she choose the right path as he thinks she will or will she turn out to be like all of the other Telamrines.
1. Chapter 1

He fell to his knees before me. I raised my sword to take the final blow when he burst out laughing. _Unexpected._

"You should have seen your face. It was all serious like you were actually going to take my life." My brother laughed out between fits.

I just glared at him and turned on my heels to march back to the house. My mother wouldn't have approved of my fencing with Moar. According to her, the reason that I hadn't found a man to court me yet was because I didn't take pride in tasks such as sewing and cooking like my younger sister Serile. She didn't of course mention the other reason.

"Oh come on Serdif! Don't be like that! I was just playing," I glared over my shoulder. "Oh, I forgot. Your afraid that our mother will send you away to the castle to work as a maid because your to much like a boy.

By this time I had reached the house and was slamming the door behind me. I would deal with my lovely older brother later. The scent of freshly baked bread floated to me on my way to one of the two bedrooms in our tiny house. My heart raced with fear. _What if she is already home! What if she sends me away!_

Turns out, it was just perfect little Serile. The daughter who was already being courted by a nobleman.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm the good daughter remember?" She sneered at me. Like mother like daughter. I took a threatening step toward her. She took a step back because she knew full well that I wasn't against hitting my little sister. "I won't saying anything. I never do. I just don't see why you can't be like a normal person. Anyone else wouldn't be effected by what happened like you., but no, you have to play little miss tough guy and beat our older brother in sparring every other day."

I had her head under my arm in seconds. She hadn't even had time to react. I debated whether I would hit her in the stomach or slug her in the face where our mother could see the bruise and Serile would have to come up with some lie about her jealous rivals who wanted to be courted by her lover. I decided upon the first of the two just in case she decided not to lie when I heard our mothers voice in the front yard greeting my brother. I released Serile and ducked into my room, closing the door behind me.

"Hello there Darling," My mother greeted my sister. In a lower tone of voice she added, "She hasn't been fighting today has she." My sister, the queen of lying when it saved herself smoothly replied.

"Of course not mother. Serdif has been a proper lady ever since the last incident when you told her what you would do if she didn't shape up. Today she even helped me bake a loaf of bread."

"Perfect. Nice to know that my little angel is having such a great affect on her." _Favorite child._

I listened as my mothers footsteps faded down the hall towards the kitchen. My sister followed after a few seconds. She paused just long enough to make sure that I heard her sniff of disapproval. _As if that's ever worked before, Serile._ I sat in my room for some time. I knew that eventually my mother would come in and tell me to come eat so I thought that maybe I would actually try to please her for once. I retrieved some of Serile's yarn and knitting shears and began to knit. I wasn't the best knitter in the world, but I had some skill in the art. After the first few rows my memories of knitting designs when I was a child surfaced and I attempted to knit a design into the scarf. I worked like this for some hours. Loosing myself in trying to do a good job. I was never one to like to knit, but when I had my heart set on something I was hard pressed to back down.

The sun had long since set and the candles had been lit when my mother came for me.

"Time to eat." I got up and followed her, my half finished scarf clutched in my hand. "Oh Serdif, leave that ratty old rag here. I do not want it at the dinner table." _I can never make you happy can I?_ I dropped my knitting on the ground and let the disappointment rush through my mind and body. _You shouldn't even feel disappointed. You should have seen this coming. _I closed my bedroom door behind me and joined my family for dinner.

"Wow Serdif. We sure are quiet tonight." I kicked my brother under the table. I hated when he made comments about my being mute.

Dear readers,

Yes, I have changed my story. I was unsatisfied with how quickly it was advancing so I decided to start anew. I plan to take the story line slower, writing it better because I am really a better writer than this. I'm going to be adding more chapters, so it would be better to re-read the entire story as I update it. Thank you, those who are still reading, for being patient during my writing hiatus. I was a little discouraged for a while and then school started and I was really busy adjusting to my new school, being a freshman and all. The story may come along very slowly, but I'll write updates when I can. Thank you everyone.

~Gwyn


	2. Chapter 2

If I had been conscious I would have noticed how clammy I had become and how the air in the world seemed to cling only to me. I would have noticed that the reason I was cold was because I had kicked the blankets off of myself in my mad frenzy of tossing and turning. I also would have noticed that it was only a dream.

The sun streamed in through the open window. Outside you could see my mother's garden in full bloom. Bees buzzed around the wildflowers and vegetables. My brother was running around like a lunatic trying to catch the grasshoppers that jumped around. My mother looked on fondly holding my baby sister to her. A picnic basket lay at her feet.

"Moar. Come, it's time to go or else it will be high noon by the time we get to our field."

I resented being left behind. I hated being sick in the summer. My father had volunteered to stay home with me so that my mother could take out my siblings on our traditional weekly picnic. Every Saturday we would pack up and head to our field by the river and have lunch. I turned from the window with a sour look.

"Now, now. None of that. You're still not over that nasty cold you had. We're just making sure that you're okay." I simply turned my back and walked back over to my stitch work. My mother often gloated about my skill with a needle. About how when I grew up I would make a fine wife and that all the lads would envy my husband. It made me happy to hear her say such things. To please her was all I had ever wanted. As I stitched, my father left the room to go make me some lunch.

We lived in a small cottage on the edge of the town. Near enough to the city so that my father could make it to the palace and back in one day for his job. He worked for the king. He was the king's most trusted advisor. The cottage wasn't extremely small, bigger than most houses in fact. Big enough so that I could have my own bedroom.

I heard a crash below me. It came from our kitchen. I figured that my father had just dropped a plate, but I soon heard the shouts.

"Please, why are you doing this? Where is the king?"

"Dead, kind sir. It was tragic. He passed in his sleep. I'm afraid though that you may know a little to much of the inner workings of our kingdom to survive," A loud smack and a grunt followed. "Burn the place to the ground. If anyone asks the man had a stroke while cooking over an unruly fire."

"Sir, his family."

"This man often brags of his family's Saturday trips to the river. They aren't here and will never suspect a thing." They exited. Soon after I smelled the smoke.

My father came rushing up the stairs.

"What's happening?" I asked him.

"Quickly my child, there isn't much time. They do not know you are here. You must go out through the back entrance. Never speak a word of this. Ever. Well, at least not until you think that you have found the key to fixing this country. You must be very sure for if you breathe a word. Miraz will kill you. Do you here me? Never speak a word!" He had tears rolling down his cheeks. "I love you my child." He shoved me away. I ran to the top of the stairs, but the entire down stairs was engulfed in flame by this point. "Too late!" My father exclaimed. He picked me up and ran me to his bedroom, where the window that faced into the woods away from the guards was located.

"I am so very sorry Serdif." He told me, with tears glimmering in his eyes, and he threw me out the window. I hit down hard. I felt my leg snap as I landed wrong and my head smacked into the hard earth. The world turned fuzzy, but I knew I had to get away from the house. Most of my senses were numb, I couldn't think clearly, but the need to get away was strong in me. I ran as fast as I could into the woods, even though my snapped leg was blazing in pain. Finally my boot caught on a root and I fell. My vision went black.

"Serdif, Serdif! Wake up! The house is gone. What happened." My big brother was shaking me roughly, he hit my leg. I opened my mouth to scream in agony, nothing came out. Instead silent tears of pain ran down my cheeks. I cried and shook my head and caressed my broken leg. "Mother! Serdif is hurt. Something bad has happened to her."

My mother came rushing up to me. "Serdif what is wrong? What has happened?" I continued to shake my head, sob, and point at my leg. My mother roughly grabbed me. "Tell me what has happened to your father or I swear I shall whip you to your death!" I tried to tell her, but nothing came out. "You good for nothing child!" She screamed in sorrow and rage. "Why! Why did he have to leave me? I told him not to work in the palace. That it was dangerous. Anyone who works there always winds up dead," She fell to her knees and sobbed into her hands. "It should have been you. You should have died and he have lived." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Mother...." Moar looked as stunned as I.

"Shut up you insolent child."

We sat there for hours until she had cried herself hoarse. She turned to me then with a wild look in her eyes. She grabbed my leg and squeezed as hard as she could. Pain ran through me, and my body convulsed with it. My brother grabbed my mother and pulled her away.

"Do not harm her." Were the last words I heard before the blackness took me again.

I was being roughly shaken.

"For crying out loud Serdif. You must stop screaming in your sleep. No wonder mother hates you. You are the most unbearable person." I sat there breathing hard and warming up. Something she had said stuck with me, "You must stop screaming..". That is impossible. Being mute she could not possibly scream. She hadn't made a noise in almost eight years. She didn't even make a noise when she sneezed. _Serile must have her head lost in dreams. I was most certainly not screaming._ With that last thought I drifted off into a mindless, dreamless slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

The horrific dream stayed with me all day. I wished that it could only have been a dream, but that would be a lie. _All my fault. _At some point I heard my mother leave for her job in the market. That's what widows have to do after all. They become the providers. I lay on my bed staring at my ceiling. _An utter disappointment. That is all that I am. Worthless, dirt, _I inwardly cursed myself. I hated myself. If it hadn't been for me life could have been great, but I ruined it and I knew it. Blame could never fall upon my mother for her behavior. It wasn't her fault. I deserved her hatred and cruelty. I deserved it every time she beat me. Moar didn't like it. He often grabbed her hand and made her stop. As grateful as I always was to have the relief from the blows, I secretly wanted her to continue. Maybe if she hit me enough she could begin to love me again. Not that I deserved it. I was the bad seed in the apple. Sparring, not sewing a lot or cooking, being unfeminine. I wasn't the ideal Telmarine.

A knock on the door. "Serdif, come and do something. Mother is gone. She cannot scold you or threaten you. Do not make me come and get you." Moar warned me. I got up with a heavy heart. I wasn't much in the mood for sparring, but I knew that he would keep true to his word if I did not come out.

"Oh, she lives. To bad she didn't end the same way as her dream last night." Serile sneered. _You get more like Mother everyday. If you only knew that my dream and I did end the same way. At moments like these I wish I could give her a good one on her arse!_ Moar sensed my aggression and stepped in.

"Serile, none of that. We are a family whether you like it or not. While Mother is out I am in charge and during these hours you will respect your elder sister." She tossed her blond locks over her shoulder and retreated to the kitchen. "I wonder sometimes how she came to be so purely evil." I gave a silent guffaw. "Oh, right." We went in the opposite direction as my sister and exited the house. The street was alive with people. Saturdays were always the busiest because of market. I nodded my head in the direction of the side of the house where we could spar without city life seeing us. My mother's threats haunted me more and more each day. "You mustn't worry so Serdif. Mother would never actually send you away. She really does love you." _I'll believe that the day I see a Narnian. She would send me away without any hesitation. It's a wonder she hasn't already. _

I grabbed my wooden sword from the bush nearest the house and tapped my brother's shoulder. He already had his sword in hand. We started out in a traditional opponents stand. As one would in a competition, but as soon as the spar began we broke form and fought in ways soldiers would never even consider. To them it would seem disorderly and confusing, to us it was the perfect way to confuse a foe and win a match. Moar had won many a tournament with moves like the ones we were using. Girls fawned over him outwardly, but he had no interest in taking a wife yet. His mind was still filled with thoughts of eternal glory and fighting for his country. He often ranted about how as soon as the Telmarine army was preparing for battle he would be there to fight with them. They were silly dreams, but I let him have them because he seemed to fancy them. I parried with my left as with blade came down beside me. _He may be able to beat any boy in this city, but it will be a day of celebration the day he can beat me._ I soon had him at a draw. His sword lay in the grass some feet away and mine was poised against his neck.

"You win again it seems." I cocked an eyebrow.

_Don't I always?_

"True, you do." I loved how my brother could practically read my mind sometimes.

_Someday people will learn that not only men can fight, but women too._

"In your dreams little sister."

_Yes._

"Come, mother will be home soon. She is getting off early to take Serile out for a new outfit. Apparently the rumor is that her nobleman, what's-his-name is going to propose." I stuck my tongue out. "I know, but at least she'll be off our hands."

*

"It's all your fault!" She screamed as again and again she brought her hand down upon me. Fist, piece of wood she had grabbed, fist, wood. The pattern continued. I lay in a heap on the floor just taking it., as I always did. Serile stood in the door wearing her new dress. It was Sunday and she was about to leave on her date with the nobleman. She had a blank face on. I often wondered if secretly she wasn't so much like our mother and she didn't like my being beaten. Moar had gone to fetch some bread from the bakery and my mother who had been drinking all day in early celebration of her youngest daughter's engagement had become a violent drunk. When Moar had gone out she had grabbed the wood and made a fist. Fist, wood, fist.

"Mother!" Moar yelled as he entered the house. He grabbed her hands and held them behind her back. "Mother, you must stop this."

"It's all her fault!"

"Shhh, Mother." Moar held her to him and stroked her hair as she cried. As I collected myself he led her off to her bedroom where she could sleep off the alcohol. "I will come and wake you when Serile gets home."

Serile had gone pale. I brought a hand up to my face. There was a long cut across my forehead leaking blood and I could already see the new bruises forming along my arms and I felt one on my stomach.

"She's never made you bleed before."

_It was only a matter of time. What do you expect?"_

"Well, what did you expect Serile? You just stood there as our mother clobbered her with a block of wood. Did you just expect her to get right back up and smile?" Moar scolded her. He examined my forehead and bruises. Serile muttered something under her breath. "You were lucky Serdif. She really could have hurt you tonight. You shouldn't just take it. You don't deserve that. Fight back for once." I shook my head at my shoes. Moar sighed in frustration. "Go and clean up your head. Best not let Serile's future husband see you covered in blood."


	4. Chapter 4

_The world seemed unusually colorful, like there was absolutely nothing that could be wrong, a world where everything was good. If only such things actually existed. The trees seemed to dance in the woods that were stretching to all sides. A soft tune was playing from somewhere off and the laughter of many could be heard. A brook nearby ran almost clear with the purest water you could imagine. The entire place seemed so magical and beautiful. Something seemed familiar about the place though._

_Approaching through the woods upon the sounds of merriment, I saw fawns. I knew that I had never heard nor seen such a creature, but for some reason I knew what they were. There were also centaurs, dwarfs, talking beasts, and wood nymphs. Somehow I knew what they all were. There were no humans that I could spot. _Narnians. _The name went through my mind like I actually knew what it meant. Although in this strange world of happiness I found that I did know what it meant. I stood on the edge of the clearing they were in and watched. It fascinated me._

_All of the beasts were dancing around a small bonfire. The fawns all had little woodwind instruments and were playing a tune in time to the dancing. They all danced like there was nothing in the world that could make them sad. Maybe in their world there was nothing bad like that._

_As I watched everything changed. In one blink they were dancing, in the next they lay dead at my feet. I recognized Telmarine arrows protruding from their flesh. As I continued to watch the world change I realized why everything had seemed familiar. I watched as the plot unfolded as it did in history. The forest was cut down, the rest of the Narnians slottered, and the village began to grow. At first it was only the market square, but soon buildings and houses appeared too. When the world had returned to the one I knew everything stopped. A lion emerged from between two houses and stood before me. He was monstrous. A fierce looking creature, and I felt scared. _

_"My child," He began, "I see much greatness in you. You have the power to make a difference. Everything you know now is a lie. Everything is about to change and you will find yourself thrust into the middle of a choice. I cannot help you make your decision. I can however guide you on the right path. Trust in yourself and do not doubt the old magic in these troubling times." I noticed two boys and two girls on either side of the lion. I felt as if I should know them all, but this time no hidden knowledge sprung forth to be recalled. _

_"What if I can't do it?"_

_"I would not be here if I did not believe that you can do it. I believe in you, Serdif, and it is time that you believe in yourself." _

"SERILE IS GETTING MARRIED!" What a way to wake up in the morning. Mother's screams could probably be heard in the market square. I dragged myself out of bed. It was early. Moar must have let Mother sleep through the night to make sure she was sober when she found out the good news. Serile was standing in the hall holding out her hand with the ring.

"....then he paused and I wondered if I had said something wrong, but then he started in on this little speech about how amazing I am and he pulled out this." She was smiling from ear to ear. I looked at Mother and she too was grinning, just not at Serile as Moar and I were. No, she was grinning wickedly at me. I wondered what this could mean, but the moment passed and I was again swept up into the rejoicing. Mother was rather pleasant all day. She went to market as she did everyday, but she came home with a cake and allowed me to partake in the eating of it. I stayed with Serile all day. Listening to her excited banter, hearing her tell her story over and over again, and helping her plan out just what she wanted to do. She wanted it to be soon because the flowers were in bloom.

"Oh, I've always wanted a summer wedding! Won't it be perfect? It'll be peach to offset my hair, and we can get some of the little girls from town who I taught to bake to be flower girls. Oh, and you'll look so pretty all dressed up. Peach will go well with your hair too even if it is darker..." She went on and on, but I was too happy for her to stop her. She deserved these moments of pure joy.

Moar was out and about running odd errands. He didn't seem to mind though. He was probably just glad to get out of the house. As happy as he was for our baby sister I could tell that he had no desire to hear about the wedding plans and about what type of flowers would go best with her color scheme and food items.

*

It was that night when the trouble began. Mother had just scent Serile and Moar off to fetch her a few things. I was left alone with her.

"I cannot tell you how long I have waited for this moment. The moment when Serile would marry someone rich enough to support not only her, but me as well. The moment when I didn't need you anymore. Now it's here. With your sister getting married and me no longer having to work I don't need you here in case something went wrong with your sister's courting and to clean and keep house. Now all of that has been taken care of. Pack your things. Tomorrow I bring you to the castle."


	5. Chapter 5

Moar had tried to dissuade her, but she wouldn't have it. Serile insisted that she needed me around to help her with her wedding; even she was still wanted me around. Mother just wouldn't have any of it though. I sat against my door listening to my siblings' futile attempts. I appreciated their help, but I already knew the sad truth. My stuff was packed and waiting. _Maybe it wasn't just a dream. How could it have been an actual vision though? There is no such thing as Narnians. If there were, I would have at least heard mention of them before. It's all so confusing!_ The day before I hadn't given the dream a second thought. Everyone has peculiar dreams every now and again. I had thought that maybe I had just eaten something bad or it was the after effects of the beating. Now though, my mind raced with the ideas that maybe it wasn't just a dream after all. It seemed preposterous, but could it just be a coincidence that the day after having it my entire life changed?

We walked in silence. I had seen the castle on several occasions because we lived fairly close to it. The trip only took a few hours. When I had been little, my father had taken me on a tour once. Then it had seen inviting, but as the tower spires came into view above the trees the castle only seemed daunting. My mother had a smile on the sent chills through my body. Everything seemed so strange. I noticed things that I never did before. A bird chirping to its mate, a squirrel running across the path, a blue flower just opening its blossom. I was so afraid that I would never see any of it again.

My mother rode on our only horse. I walked beside her. She seemed content to take her time on the way there. She was obviously basking in her own glory. I wondered if she could tell how scared and meek I was. _What if they kill me?_ I did not want an ending like my fathers. _What if I have to stay there for the rest of my life?!_ That seemed even worse than dieing.

"Hault, who goes thar?"

"Lady Verdin. I have brought my daughter here to work. I do believe the cook is expecting us."

"Very well. Cook 'oesn't like it when we 'eep her waitin'."

The two guards seemed drunk to me. Any sensible guard would ask for more than that. After all, this was the fortress of their leader. We could very well be assassins. His accent annoyed me. I had always prided myself on my clean accent. Not choppy like most Telmarines. Mine was pure and I pronounced all of my syllables. Or, it had been.

The guard who hadn't spoken raised a hand and the gate began to go up. I looked up to see the gatehouse keeper turning a wheel to raise the gate. For the first time I wondered exactly what I would be doing rather than what might happen to me. _Maybe they'll apprentice me to someone, like the gatekeeper. I hope it's not the cook. I can't cook at all. Not even when I was young. _ The first guard with the choppy accent stopped me after my mother passed.

"Leas' we'll 'ave someptin prettay to watch now," He slid his dirty finger under my chin and lifted my head up so that I was looking at him. "I'll 'ave to 'ave Cook sen' ya up wit' meh dinneh. Tell 'er that ya may not be back fer some time." He winked and slapped my butt as I walked past. I clenched my fists to control the shaking. _I don't want to be raped!_

I followed my mother through the endless halls. She seemed to know where she was going. I thought how odd that was. _My father only brought my mother to the castle once or twice. How can she possibly know all of these halls by heart? _Something was off, but I didn't have the thought capacity to wonder for too long. I was too busy taking in all the new sites of the castle. There was so much to see. Elegant tapestries, rich rugs, gold plates and platters, vases with intricate drawing, hundreds of servants going every which direction, room, upon room, upon room of food, cloths, people, and pricey artifacts. This kind of abode was something that every girl dreams about at least once in her life. I put my worry about my future life out of mind and let myself become engrossed in the walk. It seemed to last longer than the three hour walk to the castle had. _Maybe living here won't be so bad after all. _ We climbed the staircase and came upon a large wooden door. My mother knocked.

" 'Ho the 'eck knocks atta a kitchen dowr?" The door opened and for the first time ever I saw the Cook.

She was rather skinny for a cook. Not at all what I was expecting. I was expecting a fat cheery old woman with a big smile and dimples. Instead I stared up at this tall, slender, ugly, cruel person. Her eyes were dull; they didn't even look alive except for the malicious edge to them. Her posture was as straight as can be and she seemed to have one expression setting; a sneer.

" 'Ho are you, whatta ya want?" Wonderful, another choppy annoying accent.

"My name is Lady Verdin. I had sent word ahead about my daughter coming to work as a servant."

"Ah, so 'is is the little morsel. Small, but she'll do the treck all righ'."

"I must warn you though, she is a little slow, stupid. She doesn't talk. You might have trouble with her. I know that I have. I am very glad to have her off my back."

"I can guarantee tha' she'll be taught ta work effectively unde' my watch." Maybe there was another setting besides sneer; her evil grin.


	6. Chapter 6

"How long haven' ya been able ta talk fer?" The girl just didn't give up. I sat nursing my red cheek. Cook had just sent me a blow for tripping and dropping a tray of food meant for Lord Miraz. I held up my eight of my fingers. "Eight years! 'ow can ya stand not talkin'? Dunno what I'd do if I couldn' talk." I rolled my eyes at her. Nice as she was, Laney was just pure chatter. It bewildered me as to how she never seemed to get beat and she seemed so plump. She was a table maid like myself. We had met during my first day in the castle. Cook has assigned her to take me around and teach me the rounds. A week later we were still doing to same rounds. It was nice to have someone to be with, better than being alone in this scary place. If possible the beatings came more frequent and worse than they ever had at home. My days went something along the lines of, sleeping on a straw mat in the maids chambers, wake up, get hit, eat my slice of bread, work throughout the day mingled with several beatings, serve dinner, eat left overs from that dinner, get hit, go to sleep. It was constant go in the castle. There was no such thing as taking a break.

We were on our way up to the dining hall. Lord Miraz was entertaining guests from a bordering country and we were already late because of the tray incident.

"You thar! Maids, to tha 'ead table. Lord Miraz wants two servants at 'is side."

We hurried along to the head table. We had never before been told to wait on our Lord. Before we had always been sent to wait on the lesser Lords and Ladies of the castle.

"I once heard that Lord Miraz is tha worse beater in tha world!" Laney whispered in my ear frantically. We took up our positions on either side of Lord Miraz. We stood most of the evening just moving aside emptied platters, refilling his cup and other such dining needs. No one ever looked at us. They didn't even spare us a glance when we were needed. After all, we were just lowly serving girls. The table had much nicer settings and food than the rest of the tables in the room. Only the finest guests were aloud to eat with Lord Miraz. His wife was on one side with her round baby belly, and on the other was the Ambassador from Archenland. The rest of the table was filled with high ranking generals, men trying to make peace, and of course Prince Caspian. He was the most grogeous man i had ever seen. He sat across from his uncle and did not much contribute to the conversation. He just sat and ate quietly. I had never seen him before that night, but as soon as I had I feel immediately in love with him. Everything about him made my stomach churn and do flips. I thought for sure that my heart would pop out of my chest. Every time he brought his eyes up I felt on the verge of fainting. I had never seen anyone so close to perfection before in my life. We worked late into the night. When the night was almost over, Lord Miraz beckoned me to his side.

"Take this away." He waved to a mostly empty dish. As I turned to bring it away I tripped and spilled the contents of the dish onto the flag stone floor. "You incompetent fool!" Miraz shouted at me. "Get up, get up. What is your name?" He asked me, in an extremely loud voice that barely concealed his anger. I gawked at him for a second, not knowing what to do.I quickly cast a glance at Caspian. He sat with an eyebrow cocked, but soon lost interest. I was only a lowly servant to him. Laney stepped up and bowed.

"My lord she is mute."

"Mute? Well then, what is her name?" He directed the question at her now.

"Serdif, sir."

"Can she write."

"Not that I know of my lord." When I had arrived Cook has asked me if I could write. I had shaken my head, no. Something in my gut had told me to keep my mouth closed. My mother had told Cook my name.

"Good. Now, run back to Cook, tell her that, Serdif, is now being taken on as my personal maid. She shall report to me in the morning and be sent back whenever I tire of her service. Now go." The way he had said my name sent shivers down my spine. Laney ran off nevertheless. Miraz turned his glance back to me. His smile would have made the worlds strongest man quake. "Perfect."

I stayed by his side for what must have been hours. Once most of his guests had left Lord Miraz stood up and began to walk away. Not knowing exactly knowing what a personal maid was supposed to do, I decided it best to just follow him. He led me into a small antechamber. It was here that he turned and acknowledged that I was there.

"Every morning at ten I expect to see you waiting outside my chamber. You are then to spend the day with me doing whatever I ask of you. I will dismiss you at twelve each night. As my personal maid you are going to hear the innermost secrets, workings, and happenings within this kingdom. I do not care what it is you here or see everything that happens from now on is not to be spread. I'm afraid that my last maid could not take it after a while and well, she began to talk. I had no choice about where her fate was to go. That is why I have chosen you, you cannot talk or write. You have absolutely no way to share the information. It is perfect. You are dismissed for the night." With that he turned and walked into his room which was just off the antechamber. I walked back to the kitchen with a sick feeling. _He killed off the last one! What am I going to do?_ After a week I had already been chosen by the high Lord. _I knew that death would be better than working here!_


	7. Chapter 7

At ten I was waiting. At eleven I was waiting. At twelve he finally came out from his chamber. Without saying a word he took off down the hall. I jogged to keep up with his brisk pace. He led me around to parts of the castle that I hadn't yet explored. It was rather exciting. This wing of the castle contained all of the royal families chambers and meeting rooms. Some said that there was even an old library. We walked for some time. Finally we came to a solid oak door. There seemed nothing special about this room ,but it was still a new room so it excited me. Lord Miraz did not bother knocking he merely pushed the door open and walked up the small flight of steps. We came into a small room filled with books, scrolls, maps, all kinds of great delights. Sitting in a chair was a fat old man with a long white beard. My heart skipped a beat to notice who the man sitting across from his was. Caspian was sitting with his nose in a book. When Caspian noticed his uncle's appearance he quickly snapped the book closed and slid it away under a pile of papers. Not before I had had time to see the picture on the page. There sat the lion surrounded by the four people I had seen in my dream. Miraz did not seem to notice anything.

"Uncle, what are you doing here? This is the time scheduled for my lessons."

"What, can an uncle not stop by to see how his nephew is coming alone in his education."

"Of course uncle."

"Do you have the charts i asked for?" Miraz turned to the fat old man.

"Of course my lord. They are here," He handed over a pile of charts which were in turn handed to me to hold. "I had some difficulty tracking them down, but with luck I found all of the ones you requested."

"Good, until tonight then." With that Miraz withdrew from the room. I cast a last look at Caspian. He was looking at me. I felt a blush spread over my cheeks, but the possibility of a beating hung over my head so I turned and followed Miraz. This time the walk was not so long and he brought us to a larger room. The council chamber. I had heard many servants talking gaily about the splendid room during my week, I could never have imagined its beauty though. I stood by Miraz's side as other men eneterd the room and took their seats. Several of the intricately carved chairs were empty. I wondered what has happened to the men who had once occupied their seats. The meeting then commenced. For hours the Lords talked about the charts I had carried in. They were talking about a bridge that they were building across the river and about the peace treaties that were in the process of being weighed. They talked about crime rates, war, foreign affairs. Everything that you would expect to hear talk of during a council meeting. _Why is Miraz so concerned by hiding this information. Anyway with a head on their shoulders could have guessed all of this information._ When the meeting ended all the participants left the chamber except for Miraz and myself. He stood and walked along the rows of chairs.

"Every seat inthis room was once filled by a Lord," he began, turning he pointed to the throne at their head. "That was where our king, my own brother, sat. After he died, several of the men occupying these seats died. It was tragic. A great loss for this kingdom. Only a few remained strong enough to carry on with what must be done. Yet slowly, one by one, they died. Lord Felaeigh, Tawlpin, Durnfer, Verdin." My heart froze over. My father! He had once sat in one of these chairs. Had the others suffered such awful deaths as my father had? Were they all burned alive while their families were away. Did they leave daughters behind who were beaten and left mute and forced to work for someone who would no doubt kill them one day? I wanted to fall down and burst into tears. Something in my gut again told me to keep still though and show no emotion and so I did. "Aw, so this doesn't bother you. That means that you are strong." His calm facade slipped and he looked boastful. "They did not die of natural causes. I killed my brother. Then slowly one by one I found out who the most loyal ones to him were, the ones who suspected more than a death. The ones who suspected an inside murder. The first were easy to kill. They did not see it coming. After though it became harder to kill them off without being found out. The last one I had killed was lord Verdin. He hadn't been to the castle in weeks, he hadn't even known of the King's death yet. He did know however that I was going to kill him. He had known for quite sometime. I had made the decision that he had to go quite some time before I killed my brother. He was just to good. There was no way to get my way out of him. And so that is why most of these seats are now unoccupied. You may be wondering, why am I telling you this? Hmmm? Well, unlike the others you cannot tell anyone what I have done, what is really going on in this kingdom so I want to see how long it takes you before you try to find a way to tell people, how long before I have to kill you, just like all the others." The look he gave me froze me to my inner core. "You are done until dinner. Go do whatever it is you please to do."

I didn't have to be told twice, I ran out of the room and away. I followed the path we had taken until I had retraced my steps back to the room Caspian was in. The door was still open slightly and i could here his and the fat man's voices. I slid down the wall outside and sat to listen to what they were talking about.


	8. Chapter 8

A lot of things changed in the following week. For starters Miraz decided that I needed to be kept closer so I was moved into the chamber that all of his maids shared. The others were the ones who cleaned his chambers and helped him dress. They were also loud gossips. Of course never about anything concerning Miraz, but on every other subject they had everything. I felt bad for them all because while I had to stay with Miraz all day they were subject to other peoples wills. After their cleaning duties were done they were used to keep visiting nobility happy. Happiness often involved activities of the bedroom nature.

After having to move to a new chamber I realized just how alone I really was. Other castle workers avoided me at all costs. I felt like I carried the plague. I also suddenly missed Laney with an ache that surprised me. At least she always had something to talk about and kept my thoughts preoccupied. She was also always able to get extra food out of Cook and slipped me some. Now I sorely missed her company and my stomach sorely missed food. In just two weeks in the castle I had already grown too thin.

Another thing that changed was that I learned so much more than I ever wanted to know. It wasn't just Lords that Miraz had killed. _Monster._ He had everyone killed. Day three working for him he had a man killed because he had overheard some conversation that I could only imagine. The worst part was that we attended his hanging.

The final change was my health. I was fed little, forced to sleep on an old mat with only a boiled wool blanket that soldiers were given, and I was often beat. Laney had been right about Miraz being the worst beater in the castle. He knew where to hit a person to make them hurt the most. Or, if he was feeling lenient he'd have you sent away to be beat by someone else.

Some days when he sent me away early I slipped away to the room where Caspian was taught. My skin tingled every time I saw Caspian. I wished that I could be more than a lowly maid so that he might spare more than a fleeting glance at me. Even those small gazes were blank. He only looked through me, not at me. I was only part of the decour of the castle.

The door next to me opened and Miraz emerged. He took off down the hall as I had become accustomed to. This time however we didn't go to another meeting about bridges or war or punishments. This time we went to a small room near the kitchens. Another strange thing happened. Miraz closed the door to the room before I could walk in after him. I stood facing the door trying to figure out why I was left outside, but I figure it out so I just took my post outside the door. As I waited I had an unexpected visitor.

"Serdif!" Laney came rushing up to me and hugged me tight. "Oh, Serdif! Is et 'orrible?" She slapped my arm. "Why 'aven't you come teh visi' me?" She paused as if I was actually going to respond. I took the brief pause to put a finger to my lips. All of a sudden Laney seemed to notice the door beside us. "Oh! Is he in 'ere?" She whispered loudly. I nodded. She began rambling away at a rpaid pace. Filling me in on what I'd missed. After a few minutes she smacked her hand to her head. "Sorry Serdif, but I've forgo' mehself. Cook sen' meh on a trip to the 'ead 'ouse' maid." She scuttled off quickly. Almost as quickly as she talked. It took me a second to realize she was gone. The momentary distraction had lifted my spirits though and it was a shock to be knocked aside the head as Miraz walked past. We took off again.

That night there was a banquet to honor the arrival of the a new ambassador. As always I stood at position next to Miraz's chair. All the other maids served whole tables, but I was merely for the use of Miraz. I'd have given anything to have just been like any other maid. _But no, I'm just the mute idiot who killed her father. If he had jumped before me he could have lived._ I was brought back to attention by the arrival of the ambassador. He did the usual meet and greet with Miraz then took the honorary seat on his left. I now stood between the two of them. I took a slight step back so that the two might converse without me in the way. My move did not go unnoticed. I saw the man's gave flick to me, rake down me, then return to miraz.

"So, Lord Miraz. It has been a long journey from my home and." He paused to run a hand over his chin and his eyes flicked back to me. "a long time without the pleasures that a man becomes accustomed to."

"But of course Lord Jaden. Just say the word and you may have someone to pleasure you."

"Well I must admit this," Again he looked me up and down. The way he appraised me made me feel like the cattle I once saw on auction in the market. "one pleases me well enough."

"Aww, well I'm afraid that this is my personal maid and she serves only myself. I will have to disappoint you on this front Lord Jaden, but I am an accommodating host. You may have any other."

"Thank you my Lord. I shall let you know when I find one that striked my fancy." Yet he still watched me with his buying gaze and I had a sick feeling in my stomach.

I served the monster for the rest of the evening. When the diners began to leave the hall for their own chambers Lord Miraz stood to leave.

"Till tomorrow Lord Jaden when we may talk of business."

"Of course Lord Miraz." I had the creeping sensation of him watching me as I followed Miraz to his chambers.

"You may go now." Miraz said as he left me at the door. I began to walk down the hall to the chamber where all of his maids slept. I was halfway there when I heard a noise behind me. Afraid to know what had made the noise I tried to keep walking. I was so close to reaching my destination. The noise got closer and I picked up pace. Finally a hand closed around my upper arm as I began to run. Any normal person would have screamed, at the moment I had never wanted so badly to be normal.

"No screaming? Well, looks like this will be easier than I thought. Good, after all I had a long journey." I was hoisted up my my waist and dragged into an empty room.


	9. Chapter 9

The tears came as I was trapped against the wall. Lord Jaden was breathing hot against my neck. He had his body pressed tightly against min, using his weight to keep my trapped. He used his hands to remove his belt and his lips he used to suck my neck. I couldn't control the shaking. I would chose any beating over the knowledge of what was coming. I had heard enough maids complaining over the way men treated them to know exactly what was about to happen to me. _Pigs._ I squeezed my eyes shut as if I could block it all out.

His belt off he shoved me to the ground. I crumpled under his strength.

"What is Miraz planning." I shook my head at the ground and saw the tear splatters against the stone floor. "Answer me!" He used his belt the whip me. Again I crumpled under his blow. Shaking my head was getting me no where, I needed to act. I pulled myself back up to my feet. Jaden raised his belt agai, but this time I dodged. I thought back to sparring with my brother and dodged his next strike as well. Unfortunately Moar was only out for fun, Jaden was out for blood. I tried to get around him to where the door was, but he saw it coming and looped his arm around my waist. He hoisted me up into the air where my flailing legs couldn't meet flesh.

"I don't think so. You will answer my questions or you won't leave this room." He dropped me and before I could recover myself brought down the belt again and again and again until my dress was tattered and my back bloody. It was there lying on my stomach the he threw himself on me. He rolled me over and brought his mouth down on mine. The strength with which he did everything screamed control. "I will show you what obedience really is."

I braced myself for what was to come, but it never did. When I opened my eyes Jaden was up against the wall. There, with his strong arms pinning Jaden, was the man of my dreams. I couldn't believe what was happening. There. There was Caspian rescuing me. I slid myself to the wall and tried to calm down my nerves, but my limbs refused to be still.

"I believe that my uncle told you no. You betray my uncles hospitality by disobeying. Go and hope my uncle will be understanding." Caspian thrust Jaden away from him. Jaden wiped his mouth, sneered down at me, and fled. Caspian looked down at me. "You need to be more careful." And he left. Again, I was just furniture in his life.

I dragged myself to the maids chamber. My dress was ruined and covered in blood, but the ordeal that had just taken place left me too tired to clean myself up. _Who am I kidding. I'll never be anything more than furniture in anyone's life. A tool to my mother, a tool to Miraz, and invisible to Caspian._ Then I fell asleep.

_This time I knew exactly where I was and where to go. The Narnians all stopped dancing when I entered the clearing. I knew so much more about them all now. The Professor taught Caspian about them one day while I was listening. In their center was Aslan. For a time I watched them dancing. It was spectacular and their songs were enchanting. The four humans were not here this time. A strange sense of disappointment swept over me, but I pushed it away because everything else seemed so much more important. _

_ "It is time Serdif. It is now that you must make your choice. Your choice will not be easy, but it will be important in the war that is to come."_

_ "What war? Miraz hasn't said anything about a war."_

_ "That is only because he does not have what he needs to begin it. But soon, he will be a father."_

_ "But Aslan what is it that I'm supposed to do?"_

_ "When you are ready you will know." He turned his head away and the scene changed. We were no longer in a clearing surrounded by Narnians. Now we were walking away from the castle, through a field, to a river. I recognized the landscape from our picnics when I was a child. Our family had lunched not far from where we now walked. We didn't stop though, we continued into the woods. When we stopped the four people were back. I took more care to notice them this time. They all had this strange look to them. They looked old, but young at the same time, as if they were ageless. The two girls had eyes only for the lion, the same went for the older of the two boys. It was the younger boy who watched me. A shock went through me as our eyes met. "Edmund." I said the name out loud. It didn't even surprise me in my dream, but I knew that I should find that interesting. Before I could figure out why that was important a mist moved in around me. In the mist a voice came to me._

_ "Never speak a word of this. Ever. Not until you have found the key to fixing this country for you will play a role in what is to come. I have seen it. You must be very sure for if you breathe a word, Miraz will kill you. Do you here me? Never speak a word!" _

_ The words were not as I remembered them, but I knew that they were true. It had been hard to piece together what happened before I hit my head, but memory had obviously failed me. _

_ "Father! How will I know what the key is?" But the voice was gone._

"Good she's awake."

"Did Miraz have you beat last night?"

"This is bad. Your dress is ruined."

All of the other maids were clustered around me with damp cloths. A bucket of blood already lay beside them. I had lost more than I though._ Maybe that's why I had another crazy dream. I had a dream each time after I was beat and lost blood. That must be it._


	10. Chapter 10

In the next week Lord Jaden was sent away from the castle. He had been caught trying to sneak into Miraz's rooms. It seems that he was a spy for some rebellion in the north. Miraz was so furious that he couldn't even bring himself to torment me. Tormenting me was something he loved to do. He would tell me the most horrid things. As he talked he would smirk at me and watch my reactions and then he would laugh at my inability to tell anyone and walk away. It seemed pointless to me, but he obviously enjoyed giving me secrets that I could not tell. I didn't bother trying to write it for anyone. Who would i tell. I was as isolated as anyone can be working as Miraz's personal maid.

Two weeks passed after my dram, but nothing changed. Even though I had doubted the dream, nothing could keep back my disappointment as the last of my hope vanished. I would die in the castle, I was sure of it. The only time I ever felt anywhere near happy was during my stolen moments listening to Caspian's lessons outside the door. I had ever found a way to stay concealed. There was a large fern growing in a pot outside the door and when the door was cracked open I could hear their voices from behind it.

On the day that marked my one month of being a maid in the castle something finally happened. Miraz's wife went into labor. The dream came back to me. While his wife was in labor Miraz was in another room waiting for the news. He was so anxious he couldn't even stand still for very long.

"Today everything begins." He started into his rant. For Miraz enjoyed hearing his own voice. "When my son is born I will have an heir and there will no longer be a need for Caspian. So he will die and I will take the throne. Then with complete control I will wage war against anyone who questions me. Then as I take out the other governments one by one, I will take control of everywhere. And it all begins today." He whispered it all so quietly I didn't think he was talking to me. "Does that frighten you? Hmmm?" He ran his fingers down my cheek. "Make you want to run an tell anyone? After all I am going to kill m own nephew." I pulled my head away from his hands and glared at the ground. "but you cannot warn him. I can see how this knowledge poisons your soul. Makes you angry, sad. And still you cannot tell." As he so often did Miraz began laughing at my stupidity. "Go, I have no need for you today. You will return tonight after my wife has given birth for further instruction."

I ran from him as fast as I could. I didn't know exactly where I was going or what I was doing, but I found myself in front of the Professors door. Instead of going to hide behind my plant I walked right in. Caspian wasn't there, but I hadn't been expecting him to be. Lucky for me the Professor was alone. He looked up, startled, at the sudden entrance by a stranger.

"What does Miraz want now?" His voice was tired. He had obviously not been sleeping well, or at all. Dark circles lined his eyes and his pale skin almost matched his white hair and beard. I shook my head at him. "No? Miraz does not want of anything?" Again I shook my head. "Then why are you here?" I stepped towards him and grabbed a discarded quill. I looked back at him trying to convey to him that I was asking to use it. "But of course." He was truly confused. " took and empty piece of parchment and began to write. For now, I had someone to write to.

_ Miraz is going to have Caspian killed. Tonight after the birth of his son._

"Are you sure?"

_Yes._

"Why could you not just tell me this?"

_I'm mute._

A little while later I left the room quite confident that everything would be okay. The professor had known just what to do and had set about preparing for Caspian's escape. He had tried to convince me to go with him, but something in my gut told me that I couldn't leave yet. I decided my dream was worth following. Even if it wasn't true, maybe gut feeling are always meant to be followed. I just hoped that my decision wouldn't cost me my life.

There was no news of a birth yet so instead of going back to Miraz I went back to my quarters. No one else was there. All of the other maids were busy preparing for the new baby. I was completely alone. I pulled forth the book that the Professor had given me from where I had hidden it in my dress. Selia, another maid, had lent it to me while mine was being mended. The cover was worn so that it no longer appeared to be black, but rather gray. The leather had many cracks in it and it made a crunching sound when you opened it. The inside pages were still legible, but had yellowed with age. The book had been well kept, but nothing can stop the years. The first page had an illustration of the lion Aslan surrounded by the four people from my dreams. I traced my finger around Edmund's picture. In my dream I had said his name out loud. Of course, strange things always happen in dreams, especially in that one. I flipped to page two and began reading the history of Narnia before the Telmarines came. The truth behind everything. It was strange to finally be learning it. Everyone knew that to refer to Narnians or Narnia was to insult someone, but that was all anyone was aloud to know. If you even questioned why it was so you were taken away and when you came back you didn't question anymore.

I read until the uproar began and I had to return to Miraz and to my fear for Caspian's safety, as well as my own.


End file.
